Cold Noodles with Sesame Sauce

Earlier in the summer I visited Murger HanHan on an invite from the PR company. Located in Mayfair down a back street, it's a real blink-and-you-miss it. Awful pop music was playing, and it was full of people slurping down on noodles. I think we chose a bit badly, actually; wide belt noodles with tomato, egg and garlic dipping sauce came in a vat of broth so huge we could have bathed in it, while the tomato and egg was comforting, it was also very sweet and devoid of garlic. Should have gone for the biang biang noodles. Impressively long noodle, though.

The pork murger, which is a flatbread cut open and stuffed with meat (the original burger, apparently) was quite bland, and very very fatty - though they do offer it on the menu with lean pork only. But there was seemingly no flavour to it other than the pork itself and a little salt. I get the feeling that this is super traditional, though having never been to Xi'an I can't confirm. The spicy beef murger with peppers and cumin is on the list for next time.

What we did love, though, was this cold steamed rice noodle with sesame sauce. Thick, chewy noodles were mixed up with slivered cucumber and beansprouts underneath, giving essential crunch to the slippery noodles, the creamy sauce being full of rich sesame flavour. They sent me the recipe, hurrah! So I set to making it myself.

I can't find rice noodles that are shaped like this - cut to a square shape, basically - they're all flat like pho or ho fun, or round like bun noodles, or too fine like vermicelli. I set about making my own, though to do this I trialled two methods; mung bean jelly noodles, and cold skin (liang pi) noodles.

More on the latter later, because mung bean jelly noodles were my favourite. The sauce could have clung to them a little better, I guess their surface is too smooth, but in terms of satisfaction of chew these guys really swing it.

For the noodles: 

100gr mung bean starch 
500gr water 
A pinch of salt 

Mix the starch well with half of the water in a large bowl, and add the salt. Bring the other half of the water to the boil and on a low heat, add the starch mixture bit by bit, mixing the solution until it is well combined, with a whisk. Cook on a low heat until the mixture becomes more transparent, then take off the heat, grease a tupperware box and pour into it. When cooled, place in the fridge until needed.

To use, slice thinly width ways and then slice again to the width of the noodle desired. For this I sliced into cube shape. 

Here is Murger HanHan's recipe for the sauce; it's practically verbatim except I've reduced the soy sauce down because it was plenty salty enough. This makes quite a bit - enough for 4 - 6 portions. 

Ingredients:
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
7 tablespoons Chinese sesame paste (this is a darker colour to tahini, and tastes richer but you can use tahini at a push)
6 tablespoons of warm water
5 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
2 tablespoons sesame oil
1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper (I used chilli oil here, and upped it to 1 tbsp)
1/2 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon finely chopped garlic
1 cucumber, chopped to thin slice 
1 small bag beansprouts (I blanched mine because I don't love raw beansprouts)

In a large jar, combine all the ingredients except the cucumber and the beansprouts, and shake vigorously. Layer the beansprouts, cucumber and noodles, then drizzle the sauce over it and toss well. I added coriander, more chilli oil and some steamed choi sum to make it a full meal, and you could add chicken or crispy tofu too. It's a great lunch salad, but keep the sauce separate till you're ready to eat it. 

Steamed Aubergine Salad

I love aubergines - I love them deep fried, stewed, baked, stuffed, smoked, mashed. I love them curried, I love them in pasta, I love them moussaka'd. I even love them in salad which is what this recipe is for. 

This salad, with a combination of spicy, garlicky, savoury and sour is perfect spooned over rice or nests of rice noodles. It packs a punch - it's not a salad you can really eat on its own but it does make a light lunch or dinner. 

I especially like the ease of steaming aubergines and I use baby aubergines for this to aid cooking time; simply split into four at the stem (with the stem still holding them together), and 15 minutes is all you need to a quick dinner. 

You can also flame-char large aubergines on the gas hob or barbecue, or bake them until collapsed (prick the skin before baking) and scraping the insides out of the skins and having this as a smoky mashed salad; a Chinese babaganoush, if you will. 

Steamed Aubergine Salad

Serves 2 with other dishes, or 1 as a light dinner with rice / noodles

2 baby aubergines, split into four lengthways from the stem, stem still attached
2 tbsp light soy sauce
1 tbsp sesame oil
2 tsp Chinkiang black vinegar
A pinch of sugar
3 red birds eye chillis (fewer if you're chilli intolerant), minced
3 cloves of garlic, mashed
1 tbsp vegetable oil 
A small handful of coriander; stems roughly separated and chopped finely, leaves chopped roughly
1 tsp sesame seeds, toasted

Place the aubergines in a steamer and steam for 15 minutes. 

Meanwhile, prepare the dressing. Whisk together the light soy sauce, sugar, black vinegar, and sesame oil. 

Heat the vegetable oil in a small saucepan on a medium heat. Add the chilli, garlic and coriander stems. Cook on a medium heat for a minute, stirring and making sure the garlic doesn't burn. Remove from the heat and spoon into the dressing mixture. 

Remove the aubergines from the steamer - they should be collapsing a bit by now. Leave to cool for a few minutes, then cut the stem off and then the quarters in half again. Arrange on a plate and drizzle with the dressing. I quite like this salad warm but you can also now cling film and refridgerate in advance - bring back to room temperature to serve it. Garnish with sesame seeds and coriander before you serve it. 

Sicilian Sausage, Spinach & Cashew Cream Bucatini

Hello, hi! It's been a while, hasn't it? I can't say why it's been this long - life got in the way, maybe? Except even when I was working full time and writing a cookbook and testing recipes in my 'spare time' I still managed to write blog posts, so that's not it. 

I just neglected this poor little blog. Instagram is huge now, and thousands and thousands of pictures make for good scrolling. I scroll and scroll and scroll and 'like' them and see what restaurants are cooking up what and I suddenly put my phone down and I realise that I don't know anything about them really. Sure, it looks nice but what's the story? How does it taste? What's in it? I've received press releases introducing their new 'Instagrammable' dishes (kill them with fire), heard fellow diners snapping away enthusiastically for their followers even though they didn't enjoy it much, seen plenty of pictures of comped meals with hearty compliments and no indication of said comping. I'm guilty of this too, but I'm fixing it. In short, too much eye candy and not enough opinion. I like words; I've always liked words. If you say a colour to me I don't picture the colour, I picture the word written down. That is how much I like words. (Though if you like pictures my Instagram account is @hollow_legs...)

Anyway, my attention span was shot and my eyes boggled from staring at a mass of scrolling image and I realised I haven't read anything vaguely long-form in a million years. I also assumed that everyone was the same as me - food blogs are so 2009! - and then I remembered that I once made a promise to myself that I would keep writing this blog as long as I enjoy it, and entirely without regard for reader numbers. I also got an email from a Peter Roddy (hello!) who asked me when I was posting again in the subject, and the body contained just a picture of some prawns and a few tomatoes, 'an October harvest in Alaska'. If that doesn't get you going again I don't know what will. Thanks Peter for the motivation!

So it's January and we're all punishing ourselves for the wonderful time we had in December, where we danced around in fountains of mulled wine and went to parties that ended far too late for any of us to be useful at work the next day, while slightly reeking of stale regret. I'm embracing January's frugality and restriction and I'll show you how - by cooking pasta with a sausage and cream sauce. 

What? Isn't that what detox means? Truth be told, I've been meaning to do this recipe for a while. I find that creamy pasta sauces can be overly rich, too heavy, just all a bit too much. Too thick and it gets claggy, too thin and you have a very sad pasta soup. I went to a vegan restaurant a while ago and had the 'macaroni cheese' and a lightbulb went off. They made it with cashew nuts, blitzed for long enough to make a creamy sauce and even though theirs was a little granular, you got the consistency without the overwhelming richness. They also use something called 'nutritional yeast' but since I'm not an actual vegan and I'm free to get nutrition however I please and I'd rather not use something that sounds like a pharmacy product I've left it out.  

This came out far, far better than I ever dreamed it would for a cream subsitute. It was so delicious, and I doubt I'll ever go back to the dairy sauce again. Big talk there. 

Leave out the sausage meat and the shavings of parmesan that I just couldn't resist to make it fully vegan. You need a really strong food processor or a nutribullet, otherwise you'll need to soak the cashew nuts for 3 hours in water, then drain before use. 

Sicilian Sausage, Spinach & Cashew Cream Bucatini

Serves 1

90gr bucatini, dry weight
130gr Sicilian sausage flavoured with fennel (or just 1/2 tsp fennel seeds if meat-less), released from the skin and broken up
2 large handfuls of baby spinach, washed
1 small onion, diced
4 cloves of garlic, minced
A hefty pinch of salt
A big ol' grind of pepper
220ml vegetable stock cold
220ml water
60gr raw cashew nuts
1 tsp cooking oil
1 tbsp minced flatleaf parsley
Half a lemon, zested and juiced
Parmesan (optional)

In a small saucepan, add the onion and the water and bring to a simmer. Simmer for 6 minutes, then add the garlic and simmer again. There should be a little liquid left here, and you need to simmer it until it evaporates but doesn't catch, so keep watching it. Maybe 10 minutes in total.

Add the cashews to your blender / nutribullet / food processor and then add the onions and garlic mixture. Add the salt, pepper and the cold vegetable stock. Add the lemon juice and process until very very smooth. It should be the consistency of ...paint? Pancake batter?

Cook the bucatini in a saucepan of boiling water that has been salted with at least 1 tbsp salt. Meanwhile, in a frying pan, add the cooking oil and the sausage meat. Fry until browned, and leave on a low heat. When the bucatini is the hard side of al dente, reserve 1 mug of the cooking liquid and drain. Add a couple tbsp of the pasta water to the sausage meat and scrape anything off the bottom of the pan, then add the pasta and the cashew cream and bring to a low-medium heat. Add a slosh of the pasta water and using tongs, start tossing. Add the spinach and keep tossing for about 3 minutes, adding more pasta water if it gets too thick or claggy. It shouldn't need any more time than that but check to see if the pasta is to your liking.

Take off the heat and stir in the parsley and lemon zest, giving it another toss for luck before plating up and potentially adding parmesan, though I don't think it really needs it. Can't hurt though.

Sesame Peanut Noodle Salad

Admittedly this would go well with a nice piece of barbecued chicken. Or the hoi sin and ginger ribs from Chinatown Kitchen. I am the worst vegan ever. BUT I still ate this all on its own and it's incredibly satisfying, due to the quantity of rich, creamy peanut butter. Mmm.

Because you want the garlic flavour without the harshness of raw garlic, there's an extra step here that requires a BIT of faff but also some lovely crunchy non-honky garlic pieces. If you don't care about your breath then just add it in raw. You can add whatever crunchy vegetables you have - sugarsnap peas, snow peas, cucumber, peppers - as long as you julienne them thinly. This noodle salad keeps incredibly well and travels very well too, so it's perfect for lunch boxes (careful of the honky garlic) or picnics. As I write this it's lashing it down. Hmm.

Sesame Peanut Noodle Salad

Serves 2

150gr dry weight wholewheat noodles
3 tbsp chunky peanut butter
1 tbsp tahini
Juice of 1 lime
1 tbsp light soy sauce
3 tbsp water
1 tbsp sesame oil
50ml vegetable oil
3 cloves of garlic, thinly and evenly sliced
1 carrot, julienne
2 Romaine lettuce leaves, sliced thinly
5 radishes, julienned
2 spring onions, greens only, julienned

In a small saucepan add the garlic in with the oil cold and heat it up gently, stirring all the while. When the garlic starts fizzing and starts turning the merest golden, take off the heat, as the garlic will continue to cook. When it becomes more golden drain the oil into a heatproof container and scatter the garlic chips on kitchen towel.

Cook the noodles as per the packet instructions, and then drain and run under cold water. Toss with 2 tbsp of the garlic oil.

Whisk together the peanut butter, tahini, water, light soy and sesame oil until it has combined. If it's too thick - it should look like emulsion paint (?!) - add a dribble of water and continue to whisk.

Add the vegetables to the noodles and add the sauce, tossing well. Garnish with the deep fried garlic chips. Serve cold.

Hot & Sour Soup - The Vegan Version

There is no doubt about it - hot and sour is a flavour combination that comes up quite often on this blog. I count 6 times; Hunan hot & sour soup, complete with noodles to make a one dish meal; Hot & Sour Aubergines with Tofu, one of the most successful recipes I've come up with, and deviating from the normal heat you get from the classic hot and sour - instead, fish sauce, birds eye chillis and lime juice flavour this one. Hot & Sour Mustard Green Soup is bulked out with a surf n' turf of pork ribs and fish balls; Hot & Sour Tofu, one of those dishes that might change your preconceptions about tofu; Hot & Sour Chicken Noodles, which almost graced the front cover of Chinatown Kitchen; and a Sichuan style of Hot & Sour Soup, way back in the mists of time when bad pictures were my game (arguably they still are...).

Why do I love it so much? It's hard to say, but as someone who is slightly addicted to both chilli and pickles, the clues are pretty strong. The heat in your classic takeaway-style hot and sour soup doesn't come from chillis, though. White pepper is what gives it that nose-clearing pep, though I usually add chilli too for good measure. With this vegan version you lose the silken strands of the egg-drop technique, a classic Chinese finisher for many soups. It's made by whisking egg up, bringing the soup to the boil and very gently drizzling the egg into the soup so that as soon as the egg hits the hot liquid, it cooks, forming wispy strands and that lovely, silken texture. However, what you do gain in losing the egg is a light, bright and refreshing broth packed full of interesting textures and a lot of goodness.

The key to making the soup pleasing to eat is to chop everything up similarly, so that you get the appropriate textures. Everything in this soup was julienned / matchsticked to get that effect.

Hot & Sour Soup - The Vegan Version

Serves 4 with sides (like these dumplings)

4 tofu bamboo sticks, rehydrated in hot water
4 large pieces of black fungus, rehydrated in hot water and julienned
4 inches of daikon / mooli, peeled and chopped into matchsticks
200gr firm tofu, cut into matchsticks
3 slices of ginger, peeled
4 cloves of garlic, peeled but left whole
2 large chestnut mushrooms, sliced thinly
4 large oyster mushrooms, also sliced thinly
3 spring onions, whites and greens separated - the whites can be left as is, the greens should be sliced into thin rings
1/2 a star anise
750ml vegetable stock
2 tbsp light soy sauce
1 tsp white pepper
3 tbsp Chinkiang black vinegar
1 tbsp cornflour, slaked with 2 tbsp water
1 red chilli, diced (optional)

Bring the stock to the boil and add the whites of the spring onions, the ginger, garlic and the star anise. Simmer for half an hour with the lid on, and then drain the stock into another pot.

Add the tofu, the bamboo sticks, the daikon, the chilli and the black fungus and simmer for 20 minutes. Then add the mushrooms and the white pepper and simmer for another 10. Add the cornflour solution and cook until slightly thickened. Take off the heat and add the soy sauce and black vinegar, and taste - add more vinegar or more white pepper as appropriate. Ladle out into bowls, and garnish with the greens of the spring onion.

Green potstickers

I love my friends so much that when one of them decides to go vegan, caffeine and sugar-free AND teetotal for a whole entire month in the name of charity, I'm still friends with them. Sigh. It's hard hanging out with these kind-hearted people. (If you donate £20 you can have a poem written for you with your choice of theme!) I remember how difficult veganism was, so I was only pleased to invite them round for lunch.

I almost always default to Asian food anyway but even more so with veganism, as that's where it feels most versatile without losing as much flavour. You won't get far with trying to replicate a bacon sandwich, but these potstickers, packed full of vegetables with no meat in sight are (almost) as satisfying. I will freely admit that I eat too much meat - I think we probably all do - so I'm making a more concerted effort to get more vegetables in there. It just needs a little imagination.

Green Potstickers

Makes around 30 

1 packet of white round dumpling skins (not wontons) - sometimes labelled gyoza, or make your own
1/2 a medium sized courgette, diced
3 sticks of celery, peeled and diced
100gr peas, freshly podded or thawed
1 inch of ginger, grated
3 cloves of garlic, minced finely
2 tbsp light soy sauce
120gr firm tofu, chopped finely
1 tbsp cooking oil
2 stalks of spring onion - whites minced and the greens finely sliced into rings
2 large shiitake mushrooms, rehydrated and minced

Dipping sauce:
Ginger, slivered
2 tbsp Chinkiang black vinegar
1 tsp sugar
1 tbsp light soy


Heat 1 tbsp of cooking oil in a saucepan until it is shimmering. Add the garlic, ginger and celery and stir fry until softened. Add the courgette, tofu and soy sauce and cook on a medium heat, stirring constantly. Add the whites of the spring onion and cook for another 2 minutes. By this point the mixture should be quite dry, if not cook on a higher heat, still stirring.

Remove and leave to cool. Add the fresh or thawed peas and the greens of the spring onion. Add it to a blender or a food processor and pulse briefly until it has all been chopped finely.

Place a wrapper on the palm of your hand and add a teaspoon of the filling. Fold the dumpling, pleating as you go. (For step by step pictures, and a meatier filling my book, Chinatown Kitchen has it all.) Otherwise, here.

In a non-stick frying pan add the remaining 1 tbsp oil and heat on a medium heat until shimmering. Add the dumplings flat side down and fry for 3 - 4 minutes, checking that they're not burning. Add 50ml water and place the lid on so that they steam for 3 - 4 minutes. Remove the lid and, checking that the bottoms aren't burning, cook until the liquid has evaporated and you're left with a crisp bottom.

Mix the dipping sauce ingredients together and serve with the dumplings.

Hunanese Hot & Sour Soup

I have a real big soft spot for hot & sour soup. When I was a kid in Hong Kong my dad used to buy a particular brand that came in a foil pouch, which you could just stick in a pot of boiling water to heat up. It came out just as you and I know it; slightly gloopy from cornflour, with bits of mushroom and char siu, sometimes peas floating about in it. We always added more vinegar to pep it up. It really hit the spot.

All over Asia countries have their version of hot and sour soup. In Thailand, tom yum soup is a clear broth flavoured with lemongrass and lime leaves, sometimes with chicken (tom yum gai), sometimes with prawns (tom yum goong). I have a recipe in my book, Chinatown Kitchen which you can buy here, plug plug, for my ultimate tom yum made with a secret ingredient. The Filipinos also have their own version, as do the Vietnamese. 

Traditionally, the Chinese version of hot & sour soup originates from Beijing or Sichuan, and pigs blood is used to thicken the broth. What with it being rather difficult to find here, and perhaps not immediately appealing, instead most Chinese restaurants use cornflour to thicken it, giving it that characteristically gloopy appearance, or it is thickened egg-drop style - that is, whisked egg is stirred slowly into the soup and the strands are suspended within the broth. Contrary to popular belief, white pepper is used for the 'hot' aspect of the soup, not chillis. 

This Hunanese version is thickened by dried rice noodles cooked directly into the pot, so the excess starch thickens the soup. Chilli bean paste gives a richer, deeper hotness, though the white pepper also features. Pickled mustard greens give it that extra wallop of the sour balance. It's a great one-dish meal; after all the initial chopping it is quick to cook. Always add the black vinegar at the end, otherwise it loses its delicate flavour easily. You can add leftover roast meats like chicken or pork to this too, but it's just as filling in its vegetarian (and even vegan) state. 

Hunanese Hot & Sour Noodle Soup

Serves 4

1/2 block of firm tofu, chopped into cubes
1.5 litres of vegetable or chicken stock
4 shiitake mushrooms, soaked in hot water for 15 minutes, stems removed and slivered
2 pieces of woodear fungus, soaked in hot water for 10 minutes and shredded
A handful of sugarsnap peas, julienned
3 tbsp pickled mustard green, rinsed well in water
A bundle of enoki mushrooms, stems cut into three pieces
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 inch of ginger, peeled and minced
2 tbsp chilli bean paste
2 tbsp light soy sauce
4 tbsp Chinkiang black vinegar
1 tsp white pepper
1 spring onion, greens and whites separated, julienned
1 large red chilli, sliced into rings
250gr dried rice noodles - I used 8mm size
1 tbsp cooking oil

In a large saucepan, heat up the oil on a medium heat. Add the garlic and ginger and whites of the spring onions and stir-fry until fragrant. Add the chilli bean paste, stir well, then all the mustard greens, shiitake mushrooms and the woodear fungus. Add the chicken stock and simmer for 10 minutes. 

Add the soy sauce, then add the noodles. Stir well, making sure the noodles are covered with liquid. Cook according to the packet instructions - mine took about 10 minutes of simmering to become soft. Stir every couple of minutes. When the noodles are soft, add the tofu and simmer for another 3 minutes, then add the sugarsnap peas and enoki mushrooms and place a lid on top. Take off the heat and leave to stand for 5 minutes. 

Serve equally into 4 bowls and add the black vinegar and a hefty pinch of white pepper on top of each, with a little greens of the spring onion garnish. Finally, add a few chilli rings to each bowl. I usually bring the vinegar and some chilli oil to the table, in case people prefer to adjust their soups themselves.

How To Make A Bowl of Health

I don't know about you, but there were some pretty big indulgences this Christmas. Not content with just roasted goose, we also roasted a ham to go on the Christmas table. Boxing Day saw not only the ritualistic bubble & squeak breakfast, fried in goose fat, but also a buffet with lasagne, cottage pie and salt beef. How was I supposed to choose between that lot? I didn't. They all got equal stature on my plate. And if that wasn't enough, we roasted a rib of beef, with some of the most perfect roast potatoes I've achieved yet. There was fish pie, laden with cream and butter. The cheeseboard was not left unhassled. I waddled back home. 

That sort of thing doesn't come for free, though. Balance is key, and I had some repenting to do. I've been going in for one-bowl-wonders - what, in the US is often referred to as 'buddha bowls', though I'm not entirely sure why. I buy in a load of vegetables, and they can be marinated, roasted, steamed so that no one bowl ever needs to be the same.

- You need a carb or grain base if you're going to keep that hunger at bay. Brown rice has featured heavily, but I've also used glass noodles, quinoa, bulgur wheat, green lentils, or Israeli cous cous (the big sort). Step away from the pasta and the white rice. 

- Vegetables. A combination of steamed, roasted and raw. Use a mix of vegetables in both colour and texture. If you're going to be roasting them, cut up sturdy, fibrous vegetables smaller than vegetables that hold more water so that they cook more quickly. Peppers, courgettes, mushrooms, sweetcorn on the cob, sweet potato, butternut squash, broccoli, cauliflower and kale all benefit from being roasted. Green beans and carrots do well steamed. Cucumber, avocado and diced tomato can be left raw. Brussels sprouts can shredded raw and dressed with lemon juice and olive oil if you're not completely sick of them by now. 

- A sauce - them vegetables need jazzing up, after all. Lemon juice, tahini and garlic. Peanut butter, rice vinegar, soy sauce and sesame oil shaken together with enough water to loosen it. Miso, soy sauce, lemon and oil. Sherry vinegar, extra virgin olive oil, finely diced shallot. Garlic, lime juice, sugar, fish sauce and a little water to loosen. Whizzed up parsley, mint, anchovies and olive oil, with capers stirred through.

- You'll need some protein. Chickpeas, tofu, beans, houmous. Maybe some fish. Tinned fish also works. I laid off the steak and ham and pates for these bowls... 

- A topping to introduce some texture or an additional flavour. Toasted sesame seeds, toasted pumpkin seeds, chopped herbs, chopped up kimchi, a squirt of chilli sauce, that sort of thing.

Enjoy. Give it a week and you can get back to the burgers. 

The Vegan Round-Up

I think I can honestly say that was the longest 30 days I've endured. Veganism is hard. It's one thing avoiding meat, fish, dairy and eggs, but it's entirely another to avoid all the cosmetic products and booze that has hidden animal in it. Vegan shampoo made my hair smell of mud and turned it lank. Booze, delicious booze is a minefield. I didn't make it easy for myself either; I went to the launch of a fried chicken restaurant and a burger restaurant. I went to a party where they served suckling pig, deboned and stuffed with sausage. But dammit I wasn't going to miss out on fun just because of my diet. 

I learnt a few things during my spate of veganism. When you tell people about it, some are impressed, some are baffled. Some try to catch you out by pulling out facts of things you physically cannot avoid that has animal product in it. It's as if they gleefully want you to fail, even if you're trying to raise money for charity. It also misses the point somewhat, as veganism isn't really about being totally militant about the exclusion of animal products, but rather the attempt to live without exploiting animals. 

Others were completely lovely about it, with some offering to cook me dinner, or modify their restaurant dishes for me. Below were the chicken-fried mushrooms from Wishbone - so called chicken-fried because of the coating that is normally used for chicken. Wonderfully almost-meaty and totally vegan, I promise. 

Americans are much better at this than us. Blogs I read from over the pond often talk of soy cream, nutritional yeast and other substitutes that are difficult to find here. I also found that things are rarely labelled as vegan, even if they don't appear to have animal products in them (I even checked the E numbers). Most vegetarian options in restaurants are made with cream or cheese. People don't like it much when you suggest dinner at a vegetarian restaurant. 

Surprisingly, there were some vegan products I actually enjoyed. Co-Yo, sent to me by their PR was a yoghurt-but-not made of coconut milk. They made a pretty good and filling breakfast or snack, and I particularly liked the pineapple version. 

Linda McCartney's rosemary and fennel vegan sausages were actually nice, despite being made of 'rehydrated texture soy protein' (mmmm!). Sainsbury's own brand vegan bean burgers were also pretty good, as long as you don't actually think of them as a burger. Otherwise, I tried to stick with normal foodstuffs that weren't viewed as a meat substitute. I made a lot of noodle soups. I made a fair number of stir fried dishes, and a couple of curries. Noodle salads carried through week day lunches, while weekends had a more leisurely approach of things on toast - mainly mushrooms.

One vegan product that put me off buying any other was Vegusto - a vegan cheese. I bullied those Pizza Pilgrims to put it on a pizza for me. 'It melts!' the label advertised. On first taste, it as ok. Inoffensively bland. Weirdly rich. Oh it's really rich. Oh I feel sick. The rest of the tube was abandoned for the bin. 

The question I was most frequently asked was whether I felt any benefits from it, and yes, there were some. It was easier to get out of bed in the morning, mainly down to the GNAWING HUNGER that woke me up every day. I was perhaps a little more energetic i.e. hunger-crazed. My clothes felt like they fit a little better, but I didn't lose as much weight as I thought I might (basically, I imagined myself a waif. No such luck). This could have been down to my excessive consumption of hash browns, curly fries, any potato product with baked beans. It's really difficult to find a vegan savoury breakfast when trying to avoid too much of the sweet.

And the pitfalls? Numerous. Apart from being constantly hungry, there was also a feeling of constant dissatisfaction. After a couple of days I knew that after every meal I would be hungry very soon after. Surprisingly it was eggs I missed most, wibbly wobbly poached ones, fluffy scrambled ones, dippy soldiers. I thought about them almost constantly. 

Logistically it was a nightmare. Go out for a skinful of booze and no kebab / fried chicken on the way home. There had to be a constant supply of baked beans in the cupboard lest I come home drunk and ravenous. But even without the booze, everything has to be constantly planned for, nothing can be done on a whim unless you like missing meals, and I really don't. If you go out for dinner with someone, it's probably not much fun for the other person as you quiz the waiter as to what is in what dish and for you to assess whether or not you could eat it. To be fair, anyone I went to dinner with was pretty fine about it, but I found it troublesome and embarrassing. I MAY have got to the end of my tether about it one night and thrown a minor (major) strop. Oops. 

I can't imagine being a vegan outside of London - we have it pretty easy here. Sagar Vegetarian we visited twice and was excellent; other restaurants that were 'normal' but had extensive vegan menu items were Koya and Mestizo - at the latter, I had an awesome stew served in a volcanic stone pot (above). Koya's vegan mushroom and walnut miso udon is still one of the finest dishes I've eaten. 

Would I do it again? No. Freakin'. Way. I appreciate the sentiment of it, and off the back of it I will make vegetables, already a big part of my diet, even more so but honestly. It was miserable. It made me miserable. I turned into a horrible person. For the sake of the public, it's best I don't attempt that again. 

I raised £462 for Macmillan Cancer Support though, so thanks to everyone who donated. 

Kenchinjiru - Zen Buddhist Vegetable Stew

It's Day 12. I miss eggs. This wasn't truer than on Saturday; upon waking up in a fug of gin fumes from the night before, I could only think of eggs. I'd been at the launch of Wishbone, you see. My toughest challenge yet was to go to the opening party of Brixton Market's latest addition, a fried chicken restaurant. I worriedly shovelled down vegan tacos beforehand, miserable chunks of grilled courgettes and red peppers on top of a floppy flour tortilla, watery salsa dribbling out of the sides. It was grim work but I had a horrible feeling that had I not done so I'd be found in a corner, cover in chicken grease, sobbing with guilt. That evening, platters of fried chicken subs, buffalo wings and chips drenched in delicious-looking buttery sauces wafted past me and I had to look resolutely at the floor, clutching my eggless gin sour. They open Tuesday 13th at 12pm, by the way. 

So yes, I've been mostly craving eggs. Wobbly poached ones, topped with a sunshine yellow hollandaise sauce, perched on top of perhaps some ham, definitely spinach, maybe both, drenching a toasted muffin with its yolk. I'm crying as I type this. Instead, I've been eating this.

 

Yup, that there is a bowl of vegetables - albeit exotic ones! - simmered in water, flavoured with a little sake and soy. Called Kenchinjiru, it is a Zen Buddhist stew, so named after the first temple it was made. Alliums and garlic are omitted as they are believed to cause anger and sexual mischief (!), so I added a little spring onion because sexual mischief doesn't sound all that bad. 

In truth, it's a comforting, clean-flavoured bowlful. The flavours are subtle; sweetness from the Chinese turnip and carrot, earthiness from the burdock root. Tofu and konnyaku, a jelly-like thing made from yams, added texture. You can get these ingredients at an Oriental supermarket, or largely interchange the vegetables with others - swede or squash might work well, a mixture of mushrooms, leafy greens too. Some miso paste stirred in would also give it some richness and oomph, should you feel it needs it. 

Kenchinjiru 

Serves 4

1/2 a block of firm tofu
Assorted vegetables, such as - 1 small Chinese turnip (also called mooli or daikon) or use normal white turnips
2 carrots
A couple of cabbage leaves
A handful of mushrooms (I used enoki)
A few inches of burdock root
3 dried shiitake mushrooms, rehydrated in 250ml boiling water. Reserve the liquid
1/2 block of konnyaku
100ml cooking sake
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp light soy sauce

15cm piece of kombu seaweed
600ml water
2 tbsp sesame oil
greens of 1 stalk of spring onion (optional)

Add the 750ml water to a pan with the kombu for 1/2 an hour, then bring to the boil and switch off. Remove the piece of kombu.

Meanwhile, drain the konnyaku - it smells weird, this is normal - and slice into slabs, simmer for a couple of minutes and drain. Chop the vegetables appropriate to the cooking time - so turnips cook a little quicker than carrot, so they'd be in larger chunks. Peel the burdock root, then slice diagonally as thinly as possible and place in iced water so that it doesn't brown. Heat the sesame oil and stir-fry the root vegetables with the burdock. Add the kombu stock and the sake, then bring to a simmer and simmer for 5 minutes without the lid. Add the salt, then add the shiitake mushrooms with the mushroom water, straining for any grit. 

Crumble the tofu into pieces with your hands and add this with the konnyaku. Add the soy sauce, then simmer for 30 minutes, or until vegetables are tender. To serve, shred the green of the spring onion and garnish the dish with it.

Black Bean & Butternut Squash Chilli

I don't really like butternut squash. But it's one of those things that come up all the time when you're looking for vegetarian or vegan recipes, and I thought it was probably high time I got over this dislike. There's not much I can eat now dammit; I'm slowly realising this as I approach Day 8 of veganism. Any limitations on what I actually like should be (s)quashed. 

If I'm going to eat squash, then it needs some bold ballsy flavours to help me along with it. I attended the launch of a new Mexican chilli sauce called Gran Luchito; its deep smoky spiciness seemed to be the perfect foil for this sweet squash. Made with Oaxacan pasilla chillis which have been smoked to dry them, the sauce is sweet and addictive. I resisted temptation to use it all in a mezcal bloody mary. That's for the weekend. You can buy it here.

I won't lie, this is one spicy mother. With no sour cream to temper the flames, I made a chilli-less guacamole to try and offset the burn. It worked, for a while. The sweetness of the squash actually works really well here, balancing out the rich black beans in its tomatoey sauce. I brushed some flour tortillas with oil and grilled them until crisp to make a pretty damn fine lunch. The squash was edible, which is pretty high praise for the squash-dodger I am. You won't get me eating the root of all evil though, those cursed sweet potatoes.

Black Bean & Butternut Squash Chilli

Serves 4

1 tetra pack of black beans in water (I used Sainsburys Organic)
Half a butter nut squash, peeled and chopped into chunks
1 chipotle in adobo, or a chipotle chilli rehydrated in hot water and minced
1 onion
1 carrot
1 rib of celery
3 cloves of garlic
2 tbsp Gran Luchito smoked chilli tapenade (or substitute for another chipotle, and a tsp sugar)
1 tsp ground cumin
1 can of peeled plum tomatoes
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar 

Dice the onion, celery and carrot. Mince the garlic. Fry them in a little oil in a saucepan, then add the chillis & sauce until the onion has softened and then add the cumin. Add the black beans with their water, and bring to a simmer. Stir in the butternut squash chunks, then add the tomatoes.

Add the salt and sugar and then simmer gently for 35 - 40 minutes. Stir occasionally - if it's looking a little dry pop the lid on and lower the heat some more. 

Serve with rice or tortillas as described above, with guacamole. 

Sagar Vegetarian, Fitzrovia

It was Day 2. Friday night, we'd had some ciders (Stowford Press is vegan, hooray!) and we needed to eat. Normally, a curry you'd think would be quite safe - just have the vegetable curries and hold the yoghurt, right? Except they may have been cooked in ghee. It's a minefield. Happily though, Sagar Vegetarian, a South Indian restaurant with 3 branches around London is vegan-friendly and we headed there for some much needed sustenance. I was feeling weak and light-headed. 

The menu is vast and informative, with wheat free, nut free, onion and garlic free menus available online. The 8 of us ordered a mish-mash of dishes and hoped for the best. On the waiter's advice, a couple of dosas (opening picture) were ordered and they were a golden pancake stuffed with potatoes and onions. The pancake was crispy, the potatoey innards creamy in texture and spiced. Creamy! Oh joy. A thin curry sauce was surprisingly spicy, and the red coconut sambal tempered it somewhat. Kancheepuram Idli (above) was a steamed rice and lentil patty, again with the red coconut chutney and the curry sauce. Surprisingly light, this was a hit with the table, especially with the green spicy coconut.

Pani Puri, from the Bombay Chowpatti Special section, were DIY. Crispy hollow spheres were served with a thin sour broth with chickpeas - you poke a hole into them, fill it with chickpeas and a little of that broth and then pop it in your mouth whole to burst like a balloon. They were a nice little mouthful. Sev puri, as above but topped with onions and garlic and a yoghurt sauce were hoovered up quick smart by those still able to eat dairy.

Okra, aubergine and chick pea masalas were also ordered to go with some garlic rice and were deftly scooped up by puffy pooris (below). Onion and chilli uthappam was described as a 'rice and lentil pizza' but it was more like a flatbread, and our waiter warned us it would be spicy; indeed, with all of the dishes they didn't hold back with the spicing, and we were pleased for it. Brows became a little clammy and sniffles were heard around the table.

Washed down with a couple of beers and a few bottles of wine, we ate handsomely for £22 a head. All of the table claimed they didn't miss the meat and I agree; it was tasty stuff, and we didn't have to go through the awkwardness of "er, is this... vegan?" Post vegan-madness, I'll still be going back. Maybe this veganism thing isn't so bad after all. (I dreamt of feta cheese last night.)

Sagar Vegetarian
17A Percy Street
London W1T 1DU

Tel: 020 7631 3319

I'm Going Vegan... For November.

I'm not in the habit of posting pictures of myself, I PROMISE. It won't happen again. But this is the only decent picture I could find of the 1.2kg steak I ate in under 20 minutes. 

So I'm going vegan for November. I can't put my finger on one reason I decided to do this; it's certainly not PETA-related and I haven't started wearing hemp. Perhaps I'm bored and wanted a new challenge? Perhaps I know I eat too much meat and drastically went the other way. Or perhaps I was bullied into it by the person doing it with me. 

Either way, I'm attempting it. No meat, fish, animal products (and yes Mum, that includes ham), dairy, eggs and honey for a month. Some have asked why not just vegetarianism, but that almost seems too easy (!). Those who know me - and most who don't - will know this will be a massive struggle. I've spent a while laying awake at night wondering what the hell I'm going to eat for breakfast. I've spent the last couple of weeks casually checking whether things are vegan or not and silently sobbing when finding out that Campari isn't. Bye bye Negronis. 

A couple of people have kindly offered to donate to charity as an incentive for me to succeed. Thanks for being wonderful - nothing motivates me more than money (I jest...). I've set up a JustGiving page for it. One caveat stands; I am potentially going abroad for 5 days mid-way through November and veganism will be impossible, in which case I'll be carrying those 5 days into December.

Wish me luck. Please send me your favourite vegan recipes. Tell me about the worst vegan product you've tried. Tell me where I can eat in London when I can't be bothered to cook for myself. HELP. 

If you fancy keeping up with day-to-day vegan meltdowns, #veganvember is the hashtag to search for. May contain swearing.